There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can text with my tongue
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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