yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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