help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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