So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's blow job season.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
