the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
