You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
