how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
