Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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