No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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