Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
