I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it's great music for shaving your balls
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
where are my eyebrows?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
