he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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