walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
