My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
