And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
