kristin has been a bad kristin
I forgot how hot balto sounded
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
