what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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