There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
