Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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