Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
