omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
