now i know why i became what i already was.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
