I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
