honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
