I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
