I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
