Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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