Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
