Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
