just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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