I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
