She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
