In the future we'll all be gay
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You did what with his pubic hair?
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