Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
