I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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