I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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