I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
