I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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