24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
