he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
