the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
