One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
