Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
