I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
