I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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