somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
