i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
