I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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