Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
