WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just blew my weed a kiss
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
