i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
