how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
