I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
