STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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