my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
